sad boy

 

i’m the type of a girl who bites her tongue, filling her mouth with the metallic taste of blood to keep from screaming up a storm. you tell me that you’re the type of guy who falls in love so easy. of roses, kisses, gushing letters sealed in red envelopes for every type of girl

but me,

loving the make-up-girls, superficial-girls, the easy-to-love-girls because loving someone who is too much like yourself is just too hard. but maybe this love wants to be difficult, wants you stare into your own eyes. wants you to know that you are the type of guy who rakes his nails up and down his arms to keep himself from thinking. maybe this love wants you to know that these superficial girls won’t make your sadness

go away,

that sometimes it takes a sad girl to make a sad boy

happy.

maybe this love wants you to realize that to make a positive you need two negatives. maybe, maybe, maybe this love can

work.

but you still dream about her eyes, her lips, her breath inside your mouth. she is your sun and moon and stars, your lifeline, even when she turns her heels away, puts her hands over her ears, blockades her heart because she

just can’t love a boy like you.

and yet, to you still, she is the only thing that really

matters.

but i still can’t help but notice, even with her filling up your lungs, her breath still can’t bring you back to life.

 

[excerpt from a story that will never finish]

 

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